I had originally subscribed to your Stack because I thoroughly enjoyed reading your critiques. You definitely hit something there with that. I can't really say why I lost interest in your story. I'm not one to say what good or bad writing is. While I enjoy writing, I try not to over-think it. I approach it in a different way than you do. I don't look at the mechanics of what this or that writer tried to convey with their short or long stories. I don't know if you've read a lot of my novellas -- I won't even call them short stories.
Writing short stories is hard. People have a tendency to think it is easy, because they are short. The way I approach is to tell myself that I have to convey certain things to the reader. I think, for myself, that it's important for me to use the five sense on the page. Every page should have something that triggers the senses. I also write for myself, first. If I'm not satisfied with the way it's going, the reader isn't going to be either.
Writing with the intent of making it a long or short narrative doesn't work either. (For me, at least.) The STORY, AFTER EIGHT that I'm currently reading out on Sundays, was originally going to be about 12,000 words in my head. But that didn't work out. It needed more. I added different pieces here and there, tightened it up to the way I thought it would work. I have the man travel from Berlin by train, and while I could have drawn it out with descriptions of war-torn Germany, I didn't. The countryside was relatively untouched. The city he arrives in, is treated with a nostalgic touch as he looked for places that are still standing, but have been damaged, and bring on memories. Short and to the point scenes. I like to move the pace of my stories along through dialogue. But that's just me.
It's taken me years to get the stories I write to where I want them to be, and even then, I still think they could be better. You'll never be satisfied with your own stories, and that's probably a good thing. The point is you have to enjoy the process of it (Well, at least I do.) My Locksley story is something I thought about when I was a kid. I wrote the table of contents out when I was probably a teenager. When I started to write it, I used that table of contents as my plot outline. There is no plot in all honesty. I simply ask myself the age old question: WHAT IF? That's the secret to serial fiction. Leave the reader hanging on a hook. What if he is attacked? What if so-and-so dies? What if, what if, what if? It works for me.
You'll find your way through this. It just takes time. I'm not saying that I'm a good writer, but I don't try to satisfy anyone's needs except my own. I look forward to reading more of your stories. In the meantime, you should critique the many writers here -- whether they want you to or not. Your page will grow if you do that. People want to read good, intelligent, critiques on writing as much as they do on movies.
I'm intrigued by that last idea. Sounds like a good way to make very good enemies or very good friends. But still intriguing. Will keep all of this in mind. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your journey! I somehow missed your story and now I'm going to go back and read it.
I appreciate your openness on what you struggled with and how well you're able to identify what those are and how you plan on removing them in the future.
One thing to consider in regards to the serialization aspect: I think the point of serializing is less to do with "getting more views" and more about providing a level of consistency for your readers. I just went back and checked and you posted one part a day for 4 days. That feels to me like it's just posting it all at once with extra steps. I think it helps to give each part time to breath and find the audience. The joy of written works is that it'll still be there unlike a show that's here and then gone (although that metaphor falls apart with modern streaming practices).
The other part is the marketing aspect. There have been a ton of people on this platform talking about "the void" and how hard it can be to feel seen at first. We have to find ways to signal to our audience "Hey! Look at this! It's pretty cool!" That's something I'm still struggling with and I have to say, your 200+ views blow mine out of the water.
I think the most successful serial authors here have a set day they post and then their readers know when to tune in. For instance, I know every Friday S.E. Reid is going to drop something amazing in Talebones and I'm anticipating reading it.
On the other hand, I'm very curious to see if you have more success posting something larger. Definitely keep us in the loop. This gave me some good things to think about my own process.
Thanks, J. M., for your kind words and for reading.
Don't be too impressed by my 200+ views. While I started this Substack as a joint fiction/essay publication, all of those readers had come for essays. I was borrowing on their interest there, and I think I used up a few good will credits. Haha! (Not that I'm going to stop. This is indeed still a joint fiction/essay publication.)
But good points about serials. I really did do it wrong. If I try another serial, I'll probably make it into bigger chunks and then publish it in addition to my essays in a given week. I also didn't really write the story with the cliff hanger aspect of most serials. I just carved up a short story. So it was probably disingenuous to post it as a serial in the first place. Haha
Yours is good self-insight and I generally enjoyed your story, for what that's worth. I do tend to agree with most of your points above. Serial fiction on Substack isn't what I expected, in fact, I still don't know what it is.
Have you found critique partners? If not, there are websites for that. As far as style, in addition to cutting footfalls, consider if phrases like "which I had" add to plot, character or worldbuilding. It's normal that more readers start your story than finish; that happens for Big Name writers too, I imagine. One of the most decisive (and divisive) techniques I employ: write so succinctly and tightly that some readers get annoyed . . . but perhaps that style also lends itself to short, serialized scenes. I've no clue. Take care!
I think that instead of viewing your change from 250 views in the first episode to 137 in the last one as a drop of 113 views, you should see it as having 137 engaged readers. Just like in a bookshop, not everyone that reads your first page/chapter will read to the end.
Over 50% of the people that took a look at your story read to the end!
Internet people numbers tend to feel small, but if you think about 137 people in a room that you're reading your story to, that's a *ton* of people! A Twitch streamer might get bummed at only single-digit viewers, but who has 8 or 9 people hang out with them in person to play games with on a regular basis?
137 folks reading the fourth episode of your first story is awesome!
Point #4 (Character arcs > plots) calls to mind The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn for me. Twain includes both internal conflict and external conflict in that book, and while those arcs parallel, they don't resolve at the same time. Huck's internal conflict comes to a head when he decided he'd rather go to hell than turn Jim in, and that's long before the external conflicts come close to resolution. Character arcs (aka internal conflict arcs) and plots (aka external conflict arcs) don't have to exist as an either/or thing to prioritize - in this case, you can have your character arc and eat your plot, too!
All well said. Makes me think of the advice that the plot is about the character trying to get what they think they need. And the character arc is about them getting what they actually need.
Fantastic reflections (arguably learning from the process and honing one's craft is even more valuable than the writing of the story itself). And you hit the nail on the head with the 'character arc > plot' section, very good summary.
I don’t have time for a longer comment but 10 out of 10 of these are completely relatable for me. I’m still single-digits-numbers of short stories here on substack but I feel like I’ve had to learn some of these the hard way too.
Saw this in a flurry and couldn't get back to it at first. I wrote in a similar post of mine, "The Story Behind the Stories," about my time in a substack-based short story competition, and aside from many of the same lessons you wrote above, I listed the following six lessons for myself. These might be too specific to just me, but I'll share:
1. I can be way more concise than I thought.
2. I can, in fact, write fiction on a deadline.
3. I’m not reliant on moments of inspiration, because I can do the work of craft.
4. I still struggle with ideation
5. My stories, and by inference my creative impulses, are darker than I would have guessed when I started.
6. I’m hopelessly addicted to writing.
Even if none of those are at helpful, its true that writing and publishing teaches us a lot about ourselves, if we take the time to reflect.
Ooooh! I bet #2 was a tough one to learn. But a good one to learn. Haven't learned it myself yet (apart from theoretically). #5 is also true for me, I think, though my redemption point helps balance it out.
Thanks for sharing, Eric. I'm always curious to read when I see you've posted something.
The feeling's mutual! #2 was, I think, the most important one there. And it's something I'm dealing with this very weekend as I try to complete what is still a haphazard draft ahead of my planned Tuesday publication 😬 ... Meanwhile I have all sorts of thoughts about darkness, justice, and redemption. Far too many for me to put in a comment. I always want there to be hope & goodness, and yet I also believe dark stories and out-and-out tragedies can do just as much to teach us those important lessons as happy endings and redemptive arcs.
Thank you for sharing your lessons here. It’s hard to be vulnerable when you are in the middle of the growth process. I look forward to following your journey. Do you have any favorite authors who are sharing some of their earlier stories here on substack too?
I started writing short fiction to focus on quantity and practice. I tried in vain to manage a traditional short story. When I started framing my short fiction with the rhythm and arcs of an episode of tv everything clicked for me. I've always wanted the first episode to be widely available for free so readers can get a sense of the series. This is a good encouragement to post it on Substack and see what people think.
It definitely highlighted that your character had screwed himself by not seeking medical attention when it took him a solid week to hike...sounds like 5 miles? And then multiple days to survey the Strip? Last I was in Vegas, I wasn't sleeping and had barely hiked in months, but I circled the Strip--after walking a half mile to it--in about two hours. Not to mention his constant 'humblebrags' about the things he 'knew' that were really nonsensical; if he walked at night in the desert, as long as there was at least a quarter moon, he didn't need a flashlight with the ambient light gone, because it's about as bright as an overcast day at that point without streetlamps ruining your night vision. Your guy was sick as a dog, but chelation should work wonders since he didn't die. Great use of irony!
First off, thanks so much for reading my short story.
From where he started to the strip is about 10-12 miles. Then on the Strip and northern portion he was going in and out of buildings, and those things are mazes. So who knows how many miles. Then 10 miles east, another five miles west all the while squiggling or searching.
Good point though. I had forgotten about the moon. It is rarely overcast here. But he was definitely not smart enough to think of chelation. haha
I can have an odd perspective about athletics. I was taught speed above all, especially in a search pattern like that, so I might have been a bit judgemental. It doesn't help that he struck me as an idiotic braggart--the irony was adept, but it grated personally, so I'm inclined to find him stupider and stupider. It's a great effect.
I had originally subscribed to your Stack because I thoroughly enjoyed reading your critiques. You definitely hit something there with that. I can't really say why I lost interest in your story. I'm not one to say what good or bad writing is. While I enjoy writing, I try not to over-think it. I approach it in a different way than you do. I don't look at the mechanics of what this or that writer tried to convey with their short or long stories. I don't know if you've read a lot of my novellas -- I won't even call them short stories.
Writing short stories is hard. People have a tendency to think it is easy, because they are short. The way I approach is to tell myself that I have to convey certain things to the reader. I think, for myself, that it's important for me to use the five sense on the page. Every page should have something that triggers the senses. I also write for myself, first. If I'm not satisfied with the way it's going, the reader isn't going to be either.
Writing with the intent of making it a long or short narrative doesn't work either. (For me, at least.) The STORY, AFTER EIGHT that I'm currently reading out on Sundays, was originally going to be about 12,000 words in my head. But that didn't work out. It needed more. I added different pieces here and there, tightened it up to the way I thought it would work. I have the man travel from Berlin by train, and while I could have drawn it out with descriptions of war-torn Germany, I didn't. The countryside was relatively untouched. The city he arrives in, is treated with a nostalgic touch as he looked for places that are still standing, but have been damaged, and bring on memories. Short and to the point scenes. I like to move the pace of my stories along through dialogue. But that's just me.
It's taken me years to get the stories I write to where I want them to be, and even then, I still think they could be better. You'll never be satisfied with your own stories, and that's probably a good thing. The point is you have to enjoy the process of it (Well, at least I do.) My Locksley story is something I thought about when I was a kid. I wrote the table of contents out when I was probably a teenager. When I started to write it, I used that table of contents as my plot outline. There is no plot in all honesty. I simply ask myself the age old question: WHAT IF? That's the secret to serial fiction. Leave the reader hanging on a hook. What if he is attacked? What if so-and-so dies? What if, what if, what if? It works for me.
You'll find your way through this. It just takes time. I'm not saying that I'm a good writer, but I don't try to satisfy anyone's needs except my own. I look forward to reading more of your stories. In the meantime, you should critique the many writers here -- whether they want you to or not. Your page will grow if you do that. People want to read good, intelligent, critiques on writing as much as they do on movies.
I'm intrigued by that last idea. Sounds like a good way to make very good enemies or very good friends. But still intriguing. Will keep all of this in mind. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your journey! I somehow missed your story and now I'm going to go back and read it.
I appreciate your openness on what you struggled with and how well you're able to identify what those are and how you plan on removing them in the future.
One thing to consider in regards to the serialization aspect: I think the point of serializing is less to do with "getting more views" and more about providing a level of consistency for your readers. I just went back and checked and you posted one part a day for 4 days. That feels to me like it's just posting it all at once with extra steps. I think it helps to give each part time to breath and find the audience. The joy of written works is that it'll still be there unlike a show that's here and then gone (although that metaphor falls apart with modern streaming practices).
The other part is the marketing aspect. There have been a ton of people on this platform talking about "the void" and how hard it can be to feel seen at first. We have to find ways to signal to our audience "Hey! Look at this! It's pretty cool!" That's something I'm still struggling with and I have to say, your 200+ views blow mine out of the water.
I think the most successful serial authors here have a set day they post and then their readers know when to tune in. For instance, I know every Friday S.E. Reid is going to drop something amazing in Talebones and I'm anticipating reading it.
On the other hand, I'm very curious to see if you have more success posting something larger. Definitely keep us in the loop. This gave me some good things to think about my own process.
Thanks, J. M., for your kind words and for reading.
Don't be too impressed by my 200+ views. While I started this Substack as a joint fiction/essay publication, all of those readers had come for essays. I was borrowing on their interest there, and I think I used up a few good will credits. Haha! (Not that I'm going to stop. This is indeed still a joint fiction/essay publication.)
But good points about serials. I really did do it wrong. If I try another serial, I'll probably make it into bigger chunks and then publish it in addition to my essays in a given week. I also didn't really write the story with the cliff hanger aspect of most serials. I just carved up a short story. So it was probably disingenuous to post it as a serial in the first place. Haha
Yours is good self-insight and I generally enjoyed your story, for what that's worth. I do tend to agree with most of your points above. Serial fiction on Substack isn't what I expected, in fact, I still don't know what it is.
Have you found critique partners? If not, there are websites for that. As far as style, in addition to cutting footfalls, consider if phrases like "which I had" add to plot, character or worldbuilding. It's normal that more readers start your story than finish; that happens for Big Name writers too, I imagine. One of the most decisive (and divisive) techniques I employ: write so succinctly and tightly that some readers get annoyed . . . but perhaps that style also lends itself to short, serialized scenes. I've no clue. Take care!
Thanks, Val! I appreciate the insights. Yes, I think it's definitely wise to err on the side of succinct.
So, pushing the medium called 'Substack' for all its worth, there's no rule I'm aware of saying you can't revise a work you've already published here.
And thanks for reading the story too!
I think that instead of viewing your change from 250 views in the first episode to 137 in the last one as a drop of 113 views, you should see it as having 137 engaged readers. Just like in a bookshop, not everyone that reads your first page/chapter will read to the end.
Over 50% of the people that took a look at your story read to the end!
Too true! Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Absolutely this!
Internet people numbers tend to feel small, but if you think about 137 people in a room that you're reading your story to, that's a *ton* of people! A Twitch streamer might get bummed at only single-digit viewers, but who has 8 or 9 people hang out with them in person to play games with on a regular basis?
137 folks reading the fourth episode of your first story is awesome!
Point #4 (Character arcs > plots) calls to mind The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn for me. Twain includes both internal conflict and external conflict in that book, and while those arcs parallel, they don't resolve at the same time. Huck's internal conflict comes to a head when he decided he'd rather go to hell than turn Jim in, and that's long before the external conflicts come close to resolution. Character arcs (aka internal conflict arcs) and plots (aka external conflict arcs) don't have to exist as an either/or thing to prioritize - in this case, you can have your character arc and eat your plot, too!
All well said. Makes me think of the advice that the plot is about the character trying to get what they think they need. And the character arc is about them getting what they actually need.
Fantastic reflections (arguably learning from the process and honing one's craft is even more valuable than the writing of the story itself). And you hit the nail on the head with the 'character arc > plot' section, very good summary.
Thanks! And thanks for reading.
I don’t have time for a longer comment but 10 out of 10 of these are completely relatable for me. I’m still single-digits-numbers of short stories here on substack but I feel like I’ve had to learn some of these the hard way too.
Anything you would add to the list?
Saw this in a flurry and couldn't get back to it at first. I wrote in a similar post of mine, "The Story Behind the Stories," about my time in a substack-based short story competition, and aside from many of the same lessons you wrote above, I listed the following six lessons for myself. These might be too specific to just me, but I'll share:
1. I can be way more concise than I thought.
2. I can, in fact, write fiction on a deadline.
3. I’m not reliant on moments of inspiration, because I can do the work of craft.
4. I still struggle with ideation
5. My stories, and by inference my creative impulses, are darker than I would have guessed when I started.
6. I’m hopelessly addicted to writing.
Even if none of those are at helpful, its true that writing and publishing teaches us a lot about ourselves, if we take the time to reflect.
Ooooh! I bet #2 was a tough one to learn. But a good one to learn. Haven't learned it myself yet (apart from theoretically). #5 is also true for me, I think, though my redemption point helps balance it out.
Thanks for sharing, Eric. I'm always curious to read when I see you've posted something.
The feeling's mutual! #2 was, I think, the most important one there. And it's something I'm dealing with this very weekend as I try to complete what is still a haphazard draft ahead of my planned Tuesday publication 😬 ... Meanwhile I have all sorts of thoughts about darkness, justice, and redemption. Far too many for me to put in a comment. I always want there to be hope & goodness, and yet I also believe dark stories and out-and-out tragedies can do just as much to teach us those important lessons as happy endings and redemptive arcs.
Thank you for sharing your lessons here. It’s hard to be vulnerable when you are in the middle of the growth process. I look forward to following your journey. Do you have any favorite authors who are sharing some of their earlier stories here on substack too?
A few, for sure, but @Jason Alexander Smith, @Will Boucher, and @Hanna Delaney come to mind first.
Thank you!
I started writing short fiction to focus on quantity and practice. I tried in vain to manage a traditional short story. When I started framing my short fiction with the rhythm and arcs of an episode of tv everything clicked for me. I've always wanted the first episode to be widely available for free so readers can get a sense of the series. This is a good encouragement to post it on Substack and see what people think.
It definitely highlighted that your character had screwed himself by not seeking medical attention when it took him a solid week to hike...sounds like 5 miles? And then multiple days to survey the Strip? Last I was in Vegas, I wasn't sleeping and had barely hiked in months, but I circled the Strip--after walking a half mile to it--in about two hours. Not to mention his constant 'humblebrags' about the things he 'knew' that were really nonsensical; if he walked at night in the desert, as long as there was at least a quarter moon, he didn't need a flashlight with the ambient light gone, because it's about as bright as an overcast day at that point without streetlamps ruining your night vision. Your guy was sick as a dog, but chelation should work wonders since he didn't die. Great use of irony!
First off, thanks so much for reading my short story.
From where he started to the strip is about 10-12 miles. Then on the Strip and northern portion he was going in and out of buildings, and those things are mazes. So who knows how many miles. Then 10 miles east, another five miles west all the while squiggling or searching.
Good point though. I had forgotten about the moon. It is rarely overcast here. But he was definitely not smart enough to think of chelation. haha
I appreciate the feedback!
I can have an odd perspective about athletics. I was taught speed above all, especially in a search pattern like that, so I might have been a bit judgemental. It doesn't help that he struck me as an idiotic braggart--the irony was adept, but it grated personally, so I'm inclined to find him stupider and stupider. It's a great effect.